Thursday, July 11, 2013

My kids make me look like a Bitch

This is a venting you have been forewarned. 

Probably the longest week of my life and it's only Thursday. I haven't been able to post much since I have a bazillion things going on in my world. 

We are talking about Sleep regression and 3 1/2 year old behavior regression(ya I just made that up). Somehow Cohen nugget ends up in my bed almost every night for the past 2 weeks at 4 A.M....(Fuck attachment parenting this is not the threesome in my bed I had originally thought about) right after I put Leo nugget back to sleep for the third time.  My perfectly sleeping baby has decided to wake up 3 times a night. Don't you know feeding your baby solids gets them to sleep through the night? NOT

Cohen has also decided that attitude is his new best friend and he like's to play with it A LOT. He also decided to tell me at Sobey's that he was going to punch me in the face in front of a... 70 year old lady. I thought she was going to go into cardiac arrest. Just because I wanted him to park his bike in the bike rack. Who would have thought that would be such a difficult task? 

Soap in the mouth has never been so handy. I used to think my mom was such a B for putting soap in my mouth, but now I totally understand & want to kiss her feet for teaching me that disciplinary tool. Thank-you mom. 

Ever since Pre-School ended, Cohen has showed me what a psychotic 3 year old is. Tears&Tantrums...not Toddler&Tiara's.

This week I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Numerous times. 

Leo also started to crawl so the cute little baby that use to roll over and play on his play mat is now; under the couch, playing with glass tables and getting his legs stuck in the crib.

I was thinking of buying those baby gates that is actually like a dog cage. They have a certain perimeter that makes it so the kids can't escape. 

My next week consists of: Hosting a Bridal shower, Attending a Family Reunion, Volunteering at a day Camp and Entertaining some Family In-Laws. 

By Sunday I will be sipping on some pretty stiff Mojito's. That's if I don't keel over and die.

Aside from my kids, I have had numerous meltdowns about career decisions & goals. Which I already bitched about. I still haven't figured that out but I will give you a break down when I do. For now the only Break-Down I can provide you with is collapsing to the floor and tapping out. 

My kids make me look like a bitch. Not the classic bitch you are thinking of, the bitch that is scared of her kids and leaving the house.


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