Monday, October 28, 2013

To the B*tch that stole my grocery cart...This post is for you.

It's been a week, month, half a year...shit its almost Christmas.

I don't even know my name..I don't even know what day it is for gods sake. 

I feel like I went to bed and woke up with someone else's brains. 

I'm avoiding the pain on the left side of my mouth because I know its possibly a abscess. Possibly the reason why I have had headaches for weeks or it could just be the 20 f***ing centimeters outside.  I really wanted a Halloween where I didn't have to freeze my lady bits off.

Anyways...Cohen has been fighting off Croup, sounds like a god damn seal in my house. Yes I felt bad for him for the first...2 days. Now I'm just sick of hearing it. Leo decided that the walker is a good way to walk around the house..Who walks these days? My life source left for 21 days...and I'm skimming down my calendar just to see how many weeks 21 days are. Its about 3 weeks to be exact.

I also decided to become obsessively obsessed with being Eco-Friendly. I changed laundry detergent, dishwasher soap, baby wipes, diapers, food, milk, and I've been cleaning my floors with vinegar. I've had a few comments that my house smells like sour milk but fuck it..its all good. 

Yesterday I was at Walmart; hate that place. I was looking for winter boots because I didn't want to spend a ton of money on Sorel boots. I had hubby park the truck by the entrance because the flakes of snow were the size of potatoes. I went and grabbed a cart and the damn thing was covered in snow. Lord knows I would have heard about that. I brushed it all off so that Cohen didn't get all wet. Parked it to the side and went to grab Leo's seat to only turn around and some lazy ass steals my cart. She was wearing a black coat, had blonde hair and was in her mid 40's. I raised my voice "Excuse me"..."Excuse me" "Excuse me" gradually raising my voice each time. 

She kept walking...I made a point to find her in Walmart and tell her that she took the cart.

"Excuse me, the cart you are pushing..Was mine. I was getting my kids out of the vehicle only to put them into the cart and as I turned around you snatched my cart. Just wanted you to know that you took a cart that wasn't yours." 

She looks at me. The look of you haven't showered, you have two kids and you look like you need a drink and you're a psycho bitch. 

She probably parked her lazy ass in the baby/pregnant mother parking spots. 

I blame all of this on her. Thank you for making me have a meltdown today. Thank you for making my kids grouchy. Its all your fault. 

Today, Cohen decided to tell me that he hopes that his ball sack wouldn't freeze and fall off. 

Yeah. Sorry who do you belong too? I forcefully just made him have a nap because I needed to hear myself think for 5 damn minutes. 

That's her fault too.

I just want to say this too. Kim Kardashian. If you ever post another picture of you in your bathing suit with a booty like that. I will die. Congratulations on your 15 carat diamond too. Bitch.