Friday, July 5, 2013

Who do you want to be when you Grow Up?

I have these moments where I am completely content with my life....

Then I have those moments when I wonder what am I going to do once my nugget's are older and I have no one to look after?

I wouldn't call it a midlife transition but, sometimes I wonder why I couldn't figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up.

A list of things I think about becoming:
 Nurse...I don't like blood.
 Lawyer...cost's too much money for school.
 Mommy blogger...well technically, I'm just not being paid.
 Music Engineer/producer....It could happen.
 Teacher...I can only stand a maximum of 2 children at one time.
Therapist...I tend to give people advice for their problems but trust me I have too many of my own

At this point in my life my role is a Mother. I am totally fine with this, I love being a mom. I love taking care of my nuggets. I guess I just think when Cohen or LC bring home that piece of paper from Kindergarten that says "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I will still be asking myself the same question. 

24 years old and I already went to post-secondary school. I was young (18) and adventurous and moved to the big city of Vancouver. When in high school my option was Cosmetology. Three hours in the morning time I spent braiding my manikin's hair. Then I moved onto coloring hair, and cutting baby daddy's hair weekly. I was content, I wasn't bored. I thought wouldn't it be cool to be a hairdresser. 

I didn't really look into schools or look into apprenticing somewhere close to home. I just went out on a whim and took a leap into the real world. Little did I know Vancouver was the one place where everything was the most expensive place to survive. 

No money saved. I didn't know a single person that lived in Vancouver. I look back now and think why the eff didn't I do my research? Oh well...just a student loan debt over my head. 

I don't why I changed my mind...Do I have a problem sticking to something and riding it out? Moving back to Alberta might have had something to do with it. I feel like it's a place that you wont strive to do anything. Hairdressing was fun when you were a apprentice and shampooed clients hair and they tipped you 20 bucks in Vancouver... Things are a little different here. Education is different. The material you learn is different and more importantly the money is different. 

I'm now thinking about Who do I want to be 3 years down the road? Baby Daddy tells me to think long and hard about going back to school and to make sure I get an education in something I will actually enjoy. That's hard because I don't think I will be good at anything. 

That worries me for my kids. How will I teach them to set goals for themselves and to not give up. 

I didn't really have much motivation from my parents. They weren't strict about grades or taught me how to save money. I was a lone wolf thrown out into the world with no guidance. I was young when I moved out...that's a story for another day. I paid bills and worked full time as a student when I was 16. I thought it was cool at the time, I guess I matured at a young age. Sometimes I think I should have done things differently but you learn from your mistakes in the end. 

I want a different life for the nugget's. I want them to be as successful as possible. I want them to have good grades in school with goals to become whatever they choose to be. At least they have a dad who is the hardest working person I know and always set's new goals for himself.

How do I teach them to create a destination for success? 

Will I ever figure out what my calling is in life?

How do you remain an artist when you grow up?

What am I good at?

Am I a grown-up?


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