Sunday, December 15, 2013

Maybe I was only meant to have one Kid....

Let me just go beat myself up for typing that post title. Maybe I am almost clinically insane for thinking this but I was a way better mom to one child. 

Tonight as I picked up the magnet letters off the floor when all was quiet I thought to myself, I do this 4 times a day at least. 

When I swept the floors and wiped the table for the 5th time today I thought, How do I still have energy to do this?

I briefly caught myself singing "What a girl wants" in the kitchen window while finishing up some dishes after dinner and said "What a girl wants is to have a maid".

Knowing myself and knowing how lazy I can become I tend to not sit down until all is put back in the bins, all the dishes are away, my third load of laundry is done,  I pass the laundry basket with clean clothes that has sat there for five days, after I ask myself; have I eaten today?

How does Beyonce do it? Yes I'm pulling.that.card! She nonchalantly drops an album the other night and releases 17 music videos. All on top of having a child...AND not to mention she looks like a goddess! How does she look like that? I look like the wrath of god day in day out. I can't even remember the last time I put makeup on.

This post I actually got some of my inspiration today from a post "This Mom Has A Shocking Confession About Her Family. One Everyone Should See."She is brutally honest in the fact that she doesn't think motherhood is perfect. Here is my short version;

I remember looking at myself and thinking awhile back, Dang I got it together and I've probably proved a lot of people wrong...With my first child.  Now I loose my patience, yell, yell & yell some more. 

Sometimes I don't make you brush your teeth because I'm to tired to utter the words out of my mouth. 
Oh, you didn't wash your hands? Build up that immune system bud. 
You had crackers for lunch. I'm ok with that. At least I didn't have to tell you to eat it. Tonight, you won't be getting a book before bed because....I will yawn through the whole thing. 
Did you watch 4 hours of T.V. today? At least I had some peace and quiet. 
Leo...your still sitting in your nighttime diaper? Good thing coconut oil protects those little butt cheeks.
It's 5:30! You kids are probably hungry for dinner?
Well this house looks like a pig sty but I'm going to eat my 4 bars of chocolate, sit & watch New Girl because Zooey Deschanel just makes me feel happy.
 I forgot to text 5 people back. They either think I'm a bitch or just feel bad for me because they know how mentally unstable I was today.  
Why did I just clean the house? They are just going to ruin my OCD life all over again tomorrow morning.  
Are my kids really going to suffer from anything listed? Probably not! Ive heard and seen worse before. Pureed my own baby foods, had my child sleeping through the night at 6 months, Cloth diapered and used vinegar to clean my kitchen floor. All with a smile on my face. Now I wonder if its all worth it?
Having more than one child is without a doubt a daily struggle. I can actually promise you I will make way to many mistakes and lock my self in a closet more than twice this week.  

Now I'm about to go fuck with that Elf and have him do some ignorant thing to keep the holiday spirit alive.