Sunday, September 21, 2014

My kids gang up on me and make me ugly cry

It's been awhile peeps. Falling a little behind on life and putting the blogging on the back burner for awhile. I'm sure you have all taken my previous pleas seriously because I am a mental nut case as of last year...but up until the last 4 months I'd now say I NEED SERIOUS HELP. 

They say "never compare your children". I thought they just meant don't compare your kids with other kids, didn't realize that I would be comparing my 1.5 year old and my 4.5 year old. I think when babies are born they like trick you into thinking how easy, cute and adorable they can be. I'm sure some might disagree with me because I never had colicky, non sleeping babes. Luckily they went easy on me for the first six months of their lives. After the 6 months things started getting a bit hectic. 

Cohen was a quiet, independent, loving little guy. I didn't really have many complaints with him until he was 3.5. He never went through the terrible two's or even really three's. I think him being independent is where we butted heads. Then Leo-Cruz came along. Well didn't he give me a run for his money. As a baby, he slept, smiled & ate. I thought I was so lucky that I was blessed with 2 easy kids. Until teeth came along. Obviously, I know that's not his fault. I don't remember as a child but I can imagine that pokey teeth going in and out of my gums that I would become slightly demonic. Well Leo was and isn't slightly...He takes that shit to the next level. 

Kid has 7 teeth poppin threw at the moment. I'm about ready to start poppin pills. I'm already poppin bottles but that isn't really doing the trick. Not only teething but the constant battles with him almost being two. Kid literally screams bloody murder about anything and everything. I'll give you a percentile. 95% of the time he's crying. Either over his cup not being half full/half empty, kind of depends on the day. As of right now he is karate chopping me screaming "MOMMY" because I won't give him candy at 9:30 in the morning. This is just the start of my day. I realize I have to get through 9 more hours of this bull-shit. I can't even go in public anymore, he knows my name now so he yells at the top of his lungs repetitively for I don't know what reason. I'll answer and his response is "MOMMY" in a higher pitch that the last one. Over and over and over and over again. Alllll daaayyyy, eerrrrr dayyyy.

People think I'm lying...until they spend an afternoon with him. He's on the verge of bipolar disorder. I'll give you a percentile, 95% of the time. I'm sure it has a lot to do with him having an older sibling and him wanting to do whatever Cohen does but god dammit kid you can't just off the top of slide. Anytime I use the word "No" it ends in a mental breakdown for both of us. 

I literally can't wait for bed time most days. I know that sounds terrible but I literally spend every waking minute with these kids and five out of seven days they gang up on me and make me ugly cry. 

Last night I wanted to try really hard to cook them a nice meal. Lately when I cook Leo throws it on the floor and Cohen says "Mommy this is disgusting". So I took a break from feeding them and let them fend for themselves. They ate a lot of fruit snacks and granola bars. So as I am cooking, I have a container of Chicken Broth on the counter open. I turned around for one minute and Leo is pouring the whole thing on top of his head. I know he didn't intend to pour it all over himself but he didn't cry about it so I didn't think he cared to much. So there went the effort to cook a meal because he used my only Chicken Broth. 

Seems like when I actually try to do anything right with the kids it back fires in my face. Like eating clean, organic and only feeding them healthy meals. I throw a juice box/fruit snack/goldfish just to keep the peace most days. Or the amount of T.V Cohen watches, there is no limit.  Or letting them paint the train tracks in bright neon colors and then the paint ends up on the doors and floor. I really don't care most days, I don't think it can get any worse right? Or wait...Leo knows how to open doors and has no problem quietly sneaking out onto the street with no clothes on. Or they literally pick, poke, badger the shit out of me most days and I end up in tears in my closet. 

I need to go see my shrink's been awhile.


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