Soft tubs are not the same thing as hot tubs Ev

If y'all don't know my husband I'm sorry, you are missing out. If you do, then you will hear another story of what I like to call "Classic Ev's". And please don't tell him I told you this story.

It all began Monday morning when he arrived home from his two week turnaround. He's home for about 7 days. If you know Ev you know that he thinks his Birthday is the most important day of the year. It usually ends up being a week long. 

"I have already made my mind up and have thought about this but I wanted to ask you just to see what you think. I want to rent a trailer hot tub."

 

"A what?"

"A hot tub on a trailer!"

"No!"

"I told you I already made my mind up."

"Why did you ask then?"

"Because I thought it was the nice thing to do."

He was practically on the phone with Ralph from "Splash" ordering a hot tub before I could even state my argument. Luckily Ralph called him back and said they were all rented for the weekend. Hallelujah, I like Ralph. Ten minutes later he called and said "I have a 6-8 man tub". I no longer like you Ralph. Of course Evan agreed to it without asking a single question. Cuz that is just what Ev is like. Minimal questions, no hesitation. 

Next day the hot tub was supposed to arrive. 

"How much was it?" (Thinking 200$)

"400$ for the week.."

At this point my blood is boiling, but because its his birthday I will let it slide. 

Ralph pulls up with his trailer and "Tub". I got to thinking, where is he gonna put this monstrous thing? How is he going to lift a hot tub over the fence? Will he have to leave in the alley. Again, no questions asked EV!

Just wait. It's not even a hot tub, its a fucking soft tub. A tub that looks like what women give water birth in. Well shit I guess I could play doula this weekend and maybe make back the 400$ he wasted on that damn thing. 

He was disappointed. Of course. I was even more mad.

So Ralph talked this thing up as if it was mans greatest creation. Then he argued about putting it on my damn lawn. NO Ralph. 

Guess where it ended up? On my lawn. 

He then stated that it would not leave a mark on my lawn. OK, we'll see about that. 

The total hours of time we spent in that thing was embarrassing. Maybe 2 1/2 hours. This is why I didn't want the hot tub in the first place. Ev then admitted that it was a waste of money. Like I said, I'm always right. 

Ralph was supposed to come pick it up this morning but didn't show up until I was gone. Now thinking about it, he probably thought that he would pass on the wrath of me after seeing what it did to my lawn. First, I walked down the street and smelt shit. Cow manure. Second, walked into my back yard and there is a yellow circle burn mark with dead grass in the middle. 

Who said this blog was only meant for blogging about children? Wait maybe he is still a child. Good one Ev's...you're lucky to left today.