Leo has broken out of Solitary Confinement

You may have seen my post this morning on Facebook. Leo went Prison Break on my ass. Seriously not something I have even given thought to. He has been sleep trained for 8 months now and I cannot praise the heavens enough for that! Once you have a second you take full advantage of that shit. 

Until today....

It was surprisingly quiet in my house at 8:45 this morning. I waltz into Leo's room fully rested when the door won't quite budge. I gently forced it open and I hear "Maaami" (How he pronounces my name - slight accent). I thought to myself, remain calm. 

THE INMATE HAS ESCAPED PRISON. THROW HIM IN THE SHOE (I hope you all watch Orange is the New Black on Netflix to get this reference).

Every terrible thought is running through my mind at this moment. I can forget about quiet time. I guess my closet will suffice. I then messaged my friend and told her the devastating news. She could feel my distress from ALL THE CAPS LOCK I WAS USING. 


She sends me this....

Basically a mosquito net type canopy thing. I laughed hysterically that someone would actually go to that length. Then I thought it was pretty genius. The net wouldn't stand a chance against bully bronco so I did my research. 

http://google.com/CribJail


Option 1....

Do you see this guy laughing at his kids? WTF

The women "claimed" her husband made this to keep their son from crawling out of his crib because he doesn't want to come to terms with the fact that you can't keep them in jail forever. Really buddy? Cable ties and Costco boxes is as creative as it gets? I'll rate that 6/10 for effort. 


 Option 2....

I'd like to call this the Swedish Sanctuary. Ikea now makes Jail Beds for toddlers. It's actually the Kura Bunk Bed with gates installed into the base. Nice way to trick everybody into thinking that's how the bunk came.

Option 3...

This is called Kids Kennels. I laughed pretty hard because this is actually kind of brilliant. Run a day home and you can keep them locked up all day. Easy peasy. Attach a hamster bottle and they will stay well hydrated for the day. I'm totally kidding. This next option is way more inhumane that this.

Option 4...

The fact that someone went to all this effort to actually install wire electrical fencing in a play pen just confirms that their are really stupid people in this world. I just thought I would give you all another option. 

Option 5...

This you can purchase at Home Depot or find on Kijiji for half the price. Real sturdy and you can attach a bolt lock at the gate. You can throw your dogs in there too. Hopefully they will entertain each other.

Final option's would be turning the crib around/sleeping with your child. Really the cheapest easiest way to keep them contained at nap/bed time. 

In the meantime while I was writing this, I thought it was really pleasant that I didn't hear fighting for 25 minutes until I find this....

I truly appreciate the effort Leo, but doesn't the toothpaste go on the toothbrush? THIS IS WHY WE BUY CRIBS PEOPLE.