Thursday, August 1, 2013

"Mommy take me home please"

Today while at the park Cohen experienced bullying for the first time. 

We go to the same park everyday. Generally there are the same kids. A couple older kids were there today. 

He always goes up to the group and introduces himself and asks if he can play. 

Some times there is rejection but most the time kids accept him and want to play with him. 

Today was one of those days where he was rejected. 

After playing with them for awhile he started to be chased by some older kids. 

At first it was funny, but after awhile he got sick of it. I generally watch him closely because I love the way he interacts. He's a social butterfly.

I could tell by his facial expression; he has quite a few, he was getting a little annoyed. 

At that point he had 5 kids chasing him. 

He stopped.

Turned around and had asked them numerous times to stop chasing him. I was letting him stick up for himself. They weren't respecting his space and he turned around and put his arm out as if he was putting his arm out to stop. 

One of the boys ran into him. Now I'm not saying Cohen can't be aggressive but in this instance he was being polite and asking for space. 

The boy yelled "HE PUNCHED ME".

I have eyes and I know that Cohen didn't respond with a punch. 

Cohen ran and they proceeded to follow him. I called him over to tell him to have a seat and take a breather. 

One of the boy(s) probably 7 ran up to me to tell me that I needed to tell him that he isn't allowed to punch the boy and to apologize. 

Now I want Cohen to always be the bigger person. I asked Cohen if he could apologize. He apologized and said "Please don't chase me anymore". 

The boy (7) decided that he would tell all the kids at the park that Cohen has "punched" his best friend and also continued to tell me that Cohen shouldn't punch and to listen to me. 

He had at least 8 kids coming up to him telling him to say sorry to this boy. 

He was backed into a corner and was made to look like the "bully".

Imagine 8 loud yelling kids pointing the finger and telling him what he didn't do after the fact that he had apologized.

Wouldn't you say that is Bullying?

I then saw his face. Almost ready to break into tears. 

I had seen enough and knew that this wasn't a time where Cohen could stand up for himself.

I walked over; their were parents watching. Wouldn't they think to tell their kids to leave this one little 3 year old alone? 

I said alright guys the problem was resolved. Cohen apologized and now we are moving on. The one boy proceeded to tell me to tell Cohen to listen to me, I very abruptly cut him off and said "You young man have said enough. We resolved the issue so please stop pointing the finger and let's go play".

He shut-up right quick. 

Of course the parents stared at me and probably thought who is this lady. Why didn't they stand up and say something? I thought bullying is something we are taking a stand too?

Cohen then walked back over to me, fighting back the tears wiping his eyes and said "Mommy take me home please".

I never want him to feel like that. Bullying is horrible. I myself have been a victim of bullying throughout elementary. 

At school your mom or dad aren't always there to protect you. Teachers don't always see both sides and sometimes you become the enemy.

I had to have a conversation to him about what happens in life and how their are bullies. I am making it my goal that Cohen isn't on the end of bullying and doesn't become a bully. 

I thought that he wouldn't experience this until he was older, its hard seeing that. The first time you see your baby backed into a corner with numerous people pointing the finger. 

Also working with Cohen on teasing. Its something he has started with Leo. He tends to take toys away because he knows that he will get a reaction from Leo. Even though Leo is still young, hes a tad feisty.

This also goes into the conversation of protection. How to protect yourself? Do you use words or be physical? At times I wish I would have knocked some of the bitches out in my school so they would back off. But, my mom taught me to walk away and use my words. Being a boy is different. 

I heard my moms voice "Use your words Kate". I then explained that we don't ever want to sink to their level but to stand up for ourselves. Walking away is the best policy. He stands confused and doesn't understand why kids can be so mean. I said  maybe they have something going on at home and it comes out in there actions on the playground.

I'm thinking of finding a new playground.

I'm having a hard time with this. It's not sitting well with me. 


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