Sunday, November 3, 2013

I thought I would be writing something more uplifting for my 100th post

Thank-you to all the supportive readers. 
This is my 100th post. 
I have 6000 posts read.
Thank-you to the people that encouraged me to start this blog.
Thank-you for listening to my rants/emotional breakdowns/vulgar posts.
Thank-You to the people that are now encouraging me to write a book? Now that would be interesting. 
What would the title be?
Hello Xanax. Are you there?
Or maybe it should be...My kid is a great shoplifter.

Yes, today he snagged a nice pair of leggings off the wall at Urban outfitters while sitting on the front of the stroller. We walked out of the store without sirens going off. Halfway down the mall I realized and had to shamefully walk into the store to tell them my child thought he would STEAL leggings. Yeah real convincing lady, blame it on your kid.

Also, Grandma treated him to an outfit at H&M, I don't even shop their for god sake. He picked out the most professional, dapper, colorful outfit for picture day on Thursday. Also he proceeded to pay at the till. Walked up to the cashier put his items on the counter, and asked for the money that he got to pay with. The lady said "Your total today is $34.55". He hands her one twenty dollar bill, then hands her the second bill.  Expensive taste there Coh. The cashier got a kick out of it.

Yeah, he looks happy here doesn't he? Well wait until we get to the Chapters kid section and they took the train table away. Maybe Chapters should really be a "NO KID ZONE" since you know I loose him and they don't supply a train table. 

He also started to complain of tummy ache on the way home. He thought maybe he just had to take a poop when he got home. Later on...comfortably visiting and laying on the floor. He starts to pace. I told him to go sit on the can so he could relieve his bowels. Instead I was a great target and his projectile vomit which landed all over me and the floor. 

I think I sat in shock for 10 seconds. Bless his little heart he covered his mouth while vomitting so it spewed everywhere but, mommy knows the feeling honey. Too many glasses of wine. I've been there. 

Within 5 minutes he was fine. Damn food court at the mall. I'm guessing something didn't sit right. 

That's shot 1, 2 & 3. It's been two hours and its still sitting there. Oh that looks like a fluffy powdery substance that I could have fun with...No, If only.