Thursday, January 2, 2014

This New Year couldn't wait for us....


As I scroll down my social media timelines I see a lot of resolutions, a lot of people feeling blessed, a lot of posts saying they can't wait to see what this New Year will bring them.  

It isn't the first time I have heard of people expressing that 2013 was a very hard year for themselves and their families.

I don't know if it was smart of me to delete my original New Year post or the fact that as I sit here I am still fighting off the tears of watching my loved one leave for work.

It's the little things really, that make us happy. The encounters between people, the laughter of children, the genuine conversations. Sometimes it is hard to remember that. For myself anyway, this year I forgot about those "little" things that made me happy. 

2013 was an extremely difficult year for my family. It may not amount to families that are experiencing the pain of loving and the loss of family members or the illness that come's upon people. Which actually make my families life seem perfect.

Anything seemed more perfect then what "we" went through. The financial struggle, the health of family members that we became aware of, the distance between my support system, the well being of my mental health, the test of being a parent of two children, the heart ache of seeing your loved one go through a hard time, the disappointment of letting friends down. All these things tangled in the web of life, were hard.

Through a lot of tears, conversations, silence and sleepless nights I know I have more than the "little" things to work through. After becoming aware of what I thought was a "bad day" seemed bigger than something that I could contain or laugh about in a blog post.

Finding things within myself that were actually wrong made it harder for me to laugh off, or say "I'm good". It's easier that way then to complain about the mess of my house or the battle that I am having with a 3-year old. 

Myself as a person, I think I am the type to give advice when it is asked for or lend a hand to someone who may be down. I think I can be a support system for anyone in need. I think I can be happy for people when things are positive. I forgot to support myself, I forget to enjoy my time.

A New Year, another year of Life. I know this isn't what my readers were thinking they were going to witness on my over-the-top, laughable, relate-able blog. 

I am not one for resolutions. I first don't want to set myself up for failure thinking I'm going to Juice more to cleanse myself of toxins. Even if I did make a resolution I would forget about it a week later. 

I don't have a resolution, I'm just focusing on the little things, things that I can reach. I have the determination to laugh more, enjoy the simplicity of the happiness through my children and partner, make time for myself so I can be the best version of me for my family, let my house get messy and not be so obsessive and controlling over things that don't even matter, finding my new role in a business opportunity and working hard towards my brand. Not just this year, but forever. I thought 2013 had other things in store for me but you can't have a resolution if you don't know what is ahead of you.

From time...2014.