Monday, February 17, 2014

The family that pukes together, stays together....

I bet your Long weekend wasn't as exciting as mine? Not just your long weekend but the week leading up to it was surely not filled with vomit and diarrea? No. I am blessed with the rotavirus attacking not only my kids but my poor healthy system that hasn't had the dry heaves since being pregnant with Leo. 

I thought I was lucky enough to have missed this when I heard moms speaking the horror stories of this nasty bug sucking the life out of their whole family. 

Let me give you a break-down hopefully not too TMI!!!

Sunday morning, I walked into Leo's room expecting to see a bright eyed boy excited for his birthday party that afternoon. No. I walked into a baby covered in regurgitated blueberries and oatmeal all over him, the bed and the floor. 

Surprised? Somewhat. But I mean there is never a dull moment in my life. 

On with the day we go. Thinking this is just an upset tummy/ mucous and phlegm build up  from the cold he has had for two weeks. 

Puked at the party. Puked when we got home. Puked after he went to bed. Woke up covered in diarrea. I tried my best not to puke all over him. 

Monday morning was full of snuggles and endless naps. (Then came on the troubling mental leap) basically when your child has delveloped a new milestone your child's brain is trying to wrap it's brain around it.  Just a scream fest.

I can now easily say I can tune out screaming. Sometimes I run around mouthing *fuck, fuck, fuck* and sometimes that word will slip out on the occasion. Good thing my kids don't judge me, they just repeat everything I say. 

It was daddies day to leave so I thought I managed to escape Cohen and I catching this disease 😩. 

I laughed out loud and said "can you imagine if I got this, that would be terrible". 

Wednesday morning I woke up with a sudden urge to relieve my bowls *grose* 😖 I know. I had a sense of nausea but that is easily avoidable. Got up like normal went on to make breakfast for the kids. The breakfast that Leo threw all over the floor then triggered my lovely gag reflux to vomit. 

I basically crawled down the stairs onto the couch struggling for my life. But then Leo was still in his high chair and I literally couldn't move. Being the impatient child that he is, he let me know. EVERYTIME I got up to move I could feel an eruption in my stomach ready to blast out my mouth. 

This is a testing moment as a mother to have to deal with children and have this virus. You know what is more testing? When your four year is running around frantically screaming in terror because at the time he knew he was about to shit his pants and puke all over. Of course I had no idea this was about to happen. 

Obviously out of patience and energy I was a little upset that he couldn't use his words to prepare me for this crime scene. Then came on the tears, fever, chills, body aches and loosely flowing fluids. I have never washed so many towels and pairs of underwear in my life. I left the bathrooms because I knew there was no way that this was over.

It was far from over. What started on Tuesday is still alive and breathing kicking the shit out of our immune systems. I've never watched so much tv in my life and let my kids eat so much toast. Yesterday was the first day that I felt like I was on the mend. Still not much of an appetite which leads me too look extremely annorexic with my cheek bones looking very cut. Trust me it doesn't look pretty. With black bags under my eyes, hair uncombed in a bun, and smell like god awful pig farm I basically fit the mold of a crack head. Oh did I mention you don't sleep? 4 am wake up I was off the mend feeling like someone beat me with a bat. I actually sat up and said "FUCK THIS SHIT". No pun intended. 

Yes we are breathing but no I cannot tell you when this flu ends. I would have a cold for a whole year instead of having a week long flu. 

Now I have to go clean bathrooms, clean bed sheets, scrub puke and shit out of clothes and call the bug exterminator. 

Happy Family Day. 


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