So the last week has been a blur. Not like Robin Thicke's blur....I wish.

So the last week has been a blur. Not like Robin Thicke's blur....I wish. Leo's cutting a tooth and he relapsed twice with a cold in the same week. I forgot to make Cohen lunch three days in a row and it took me until 2:30 to realize when he was ripping my face off. Not a very shining time for this mommy. I feel like teething is going to go on forever. His second tooth is transparent through his gums but its only the second one. I have never seen a cute little smiley boy turn into Chucky before. 

I basically have to sleep train Leo all over again but I've listened to too much crying in the past 2 weeks so sleeping on my chest will do. I can't blame it on oats anymore. He actually will only eat squeeze puréed food from Superstore's organic section and yogurt. Oh and titty juice.  Last night he woke up at 4:30 am gagging and it sounded like he hacked a whole pack of darts. He crawls around on the floor crying wanting me to hold him for hours at a time. Last night I just laid in the crib with him for a couple hours just so he felt more comfortable. Cohen was a bad teether..but Leo takes the cake on this one.

Cohen on the other hand has been limited to a half hour of video games a day. We got Pirates of The Caribbean Lego Edition so that's a little better then zombies and instakills on COD. He actually recognized a guys shirt today and it said Call Of Duty in the same font as the game and he knew what it was. Genius moment? or Child VG addict? I haven't decided. 

I've written about "things" being done with his "thing". Well a few nights ago I watched him out of the corner of my eye and he actually was pouring water over it. I then proceeded to ask him what he was doing. He gave me the look of "Are you serious lady obviously I'm watering my Dinky". 

"Mom I have to water it so it grows!"
"I don't think so buddy"
"Its like a flower, we water flowers"

Are you f*&^%* kidding me? This child is so full of sass and he is so educated...He's smarter than me half the time. He also tells me that If I go lay down upstairs in bed to rest that he thinks that being thoughtful is actually for his own personal needs to fulfill his COD addiction. I'm like do I have "stupid" across my fore head. He nods...

Hubby...well maybe I shouldn't say this but, he has been home for two weeks waiting for his new job to start up...yes two weeks. Two weeks of video games, helping with the kids and making Cohen even more obsessed with him. I can't really complain except he is singing into a beer bottle to Crash Test Dummies "Mmmmmmmmmmm" yeah, hes a little bored. Two weeks of noticing how much time I devote to my blogging addiction. He cant really get mad though, he plays video games.

So there you have it folks...a week in my shoes. 

The word "thing" could mean any "thing". I was hoping "dinky" wasn't the "thing" I caught Cohen doing "things" with....

By saying thing...it can mean any "thing". 

I guess that is the first word that comes to mind when your child is being inappropriate and streaking at the age of 3 1/2. 

Now I feel more embarrassed then Cohen does. I was more worried about what the neighborhood watch was gonna say when they thought that a 3 year old should be reported to the Ped police.

I get that your "thing" "dinky" "wiener" is such an interesting part of your anatomy but why in the hell do they figure out how to play with it at such a young age. 

I catch him often..in the tub, behind the couch, in his room. But of all places our neighbors front lawn should be last place where you are rubbing one out. 

I'm a girl so that type of thing grosses me out anyways, but my own child just took that awkwardness to the next level. 

Cohen tends to play outside in the front yard in front of our neighbors window because the kids are trapped inside the house behind the screen like they are animals. He is a class clown so I often catch him doing weird shit. By request or he thinks that shit up all on his own. 

I kept checking out the window to check on him and he was playing with a toy and talking to the kids. A couple more peek's later and I see him standing there....pants down...no T-shirt...bent back like Soulja Boy waving his "thing" in the air like he just don't care.