New spokes woman for Victoria's Secrets 2014 Cabbage Bra

You're all wondering...This girl has definitely gone mental. Actually no! I am sitting here chilling in my new Cabbage Bra, compliments of my fridge.

Now, I'm on day three of weaning and like my previous post "This mom is on Fiyahhhhh" my breasts have taken the floor. 

I have shared my battles of breast-feeding/lack of milk/ Mastitis/ One Double D... You've all heard about it whether or not you care.

It's pretty funny actually. How I have such a f*&^ing battle producing milk and just when I think I'm out of it, it comes back to bite me in the tit. Kind of sort of it feels like that, except for the clots of milk I feel like I have in my left boob that have a sensational warm feeling. I didn't want to leave my right boob out since I lost milk on that side 9 months ago so she is taking one for the team. 

You ask why I am putting myself through this instead of letting it happen naturally? 

You should ask my son. The one who vigorously attacked me in the middle of the night and nearly severed my nipple off. I'm still young and I have high hopes of keeping my nipples on for the nude beaches I plan to attend in Hawaii (kidding). 

Besides the biting, LC thinks that creepily looking at me while nursing makes me feel super comfortable. Maybe if I had normal kids I would nurse til they are 3. 

I feel like a fucking cabbage roll and I'm starting to smell. Maybe that is due to the fact of me not showering in 4 days..By choice of course can't blame that on the wee ones. 

As I searched the internet for some "lactative support" I scrolled down to find that Cabbage helps with weaning. "The Cabbage Cure" its called. It is used for engorgement therapy, cabbage is believed to contain sinigrin (allylisothiocyanate) rapine, mustard oil, magnesium, oxylate and sulphur heterosides. Herbalists believe that cabbage has both antibiotic and anti irritant properties.

Luckily I had a head of cabbage in my fridge. Ripped a few leaves off and stuffed them in like I was in 9th grade. Actually feels quite nice, the cold sensation. 

How weird do you think I will look dancing to Beyonce in my cabbage bra? Ahh what the hell! Cross this one off my bucket list. Cabbage Selfie!!! Give me a call Heidi Klum!

I just want to shout from the rooftops that I made it to NINE months.....

Nine months of struggle and dedication. 

Nine months of nursing off one boob. 

Nine months of finding out your baby can be breastfed and survive for that long off one boob. Nine months have gone by and I only caught mastitis once. 

Once was enough to feel like it was for 9 months. 

Nine months of saying a Prayer to The Lord Jesus that I could keep breast feeding. I didn't even make it this far with Cohen.  

Nine months and 3 months short of a year that I hope I can nurse him until. 

Seven months ago I had to convince myself that I was happy enough to maybe make it to  four months.

You saw my post about 1 DD. 

That boob is still holding its own. I want to give it a high five. 

I'm still at the point where I have lopsided breasts and you can tell under shirts and for whoever played a fool that you couldn't tell, you were all full of shit. 

I should write a book. 

I think woman might be afraid to admit that they have one boob functioning. 
I have come to terms that my boobs will always look like sad wrinkly faces.
How much does it cost for a breast lift?
For the doctor that told me to excessively pump my one boob I now have no feeling in my nipple...Thanks.
Without supplement, Leo preferred the boob. Hopefully that doesn't carry onto his adolescents.  
And Leo...I understand why you favored the right breast...its a good one. ;)

Two Great Articles you must read

Today, the blog world is a big thing. There are numerous mommy blogs or websites that have guest mommy bloggers. It has become way more relevant and more common since the days of the Social Media boom.  Scrolling down my timeline I came across the status of a blogger that I follow and her status said;

"And those moms who appear to have it all together? The size six supermoms who appear perky and well-rested? The ones who haul big designer diaper bags brimming with healthy snacks and water and sunscreen and extra outfits and hand sanitizer?

It is okay to wish them small misfortunes, like fecal incontinence or eye herpes." 

Made me laugh a little because I used to be the mom that packed healthy snacks, Sunscreen and hauled around a Coach diaper bag (I got as a gift). I clicked on the link. Generally I will open most links that have anything to do with Mom's or kids. Something relate-able and maybe a funny read. I then read "fecal incontinence or eye herpes" and knew that it would be funny. I've never heard of The Elephant Journal before, mostly about Yoga, going green and your well being. A Writer, Lynn Shattuck wrote for the blog I assume and the title of her post was To my post-par-tum self. Things I wish i'd known. 

The post talks about the stages you go through when birthing your child into the world. The stages of breastfeeding, the stages of teething, the stages of napping.  It actually makes sense how she explains each stage we go through that seems like a universe away. The initial cluster feeding that feels like years is actually only the first week. Then you think sleep regression is over and they start teething.

She writes "Don't drown in it";

Every little stage your baby goes through will feel like a riptide, like forever—I don’t know why this happens.
Maybe because for your baby, that week of cluster feeding is forever. Maybe, because your baby is stuck to you like Velcro, and your nipples are chafed, and you’re pretty sure you’re never going to sleep again, you absorb his sense of time.
Maybe it’s some hormone-fueled, survival of the fittest, DNA code to make sure you take your baby’s needs seriously.
But pretty soon, your baby won’t be cluster feeding. He will be teething. Refusing naps. Calling you poopy. You will hear yourself say things like, “Please take your penis out of the windowsill.” Take each stage seriously, but don’t drown in it. 

Check, check and check. I've been through all of that. She then proceeds to talk about boobs.

For awhile, your boobs will be out. All. The. Time. Your boobs will see more sunlight than you do. Warm, sticky milk will drip down your belly and you’ll feel like the stump of an ice cream cone in July.

This too shall pass, but for awhile, you’re going to feel like quite the centerfold.

From National Geographic.

She puts perspective on all milestones and what comes with it. They will end, you will get through it.  

Don't Clean; Your house will still be messy in five years. I am sorry, but it’s true. So when your baby sleeps, take a nap. Read a book. Masturbate. Look at pictures of clean houses on Pinterest. Look at pictures of clean houses on Pinterest while you masturbate.

Ask for help; Ask your partner for help. He/she does not mean to just sit there in a chair playing Mortal Kombat. They will eventually show more interest in the baby, when it can giggle and hug and play tackle football. But for now, they need you to tell them you need help.

Ask.

When you do, don’t tell them how to care for your child. Or tell them, but then let it go. He/she will probably watch Pulp Fiction with your baby. They will let your precious little one gnaw on pizza crusts like a junkyard dog. Your baby will be okay on both counts.
Then, leave the house.

If you don’t, your partner will rise from their chair like Zeus. They will find you, and they will suggest that the baby needs milk. Even though you just nursed him. 

The best part of this post is that she groups everything together so perfectly. She says what every mom feels.

Listen: I know you feel like you’re doing it all wrong; I know the stakes feel so high and all the other moms look like they know what they’re doing.

Take a break from reading books and blogs about how you’re supposed to be raising your child. Your baby is reasonably clean and growing. 

Most Importantly You are doing just fine. 

Sometimes we question ourselves or the way we parent. This post kind of leads into the next article I read on EJ. "The Good Mother". We all think it, we all wonder are we a Good Mother?. Surprisingly its not what you think. I thought it would be about a Mom talking about a friend who is just naturally a Good Mother. No,  it's that tiny voice in your head "The Good Mother" telling you what you think you should do but its too late because you tried this other angle of discipline. 

I remember talking to another new mom at a mom’s group when my son was a newborn.

The other new mom was clearly connected with her infant daughter; I could almost see the cord of love twining them to each other. I could see it in the gentle but sturdy way she held her daughter and the way she smiled and gazed at her—while my son alternated nursing and crying, nursing and crying, we chatted.

“I have this ‘good mother’ voice in my head sometimes,” she admitted. “The other day, Julia was napping and I realized I’d forgotten to turn the baby monitor on. I checked on her and she was still sleeping, but I thought, ‘a good mother wouldn't forget to turn the baby monitor on.’”

Totally true, totally relate able.  Then goes onto talking about winging motherhood...everyday.

One of the hardest things for me about being a mom is that I make about 107 little decisions every day, and most of the time, I am totally winging it. Unlike work at a paid job, I don’t get regular feedback on how I’m doing.

I will let you read it for yourself. You’re a good mother.  Like Elephant Family on Facebook and Lynn Shattuck.

It has taken me a few days to adjust and get back into my normal routine since being away for a whole week on vacation. 

I feel like I need a vacation from my vacation. 

The setting was beautiful...but the kids. They did...not....sleep....

I thought that mountain air would help them rest their little heads on the pillow.

Well...I was wrong. Leo nugget was up 3 times in a night and they thought wake up call was at 5:30, 6 or 6:30. 

I thought vacation meant sleeping in?

Not when you have kids. 

I Support You

A post just popped up on my timeline titled;

I Support You: The Conversation We Should Be Having about Breastfeeding and Formula.

I am facing this right now. As a breastfeeding mommy, I feel that my time is coming to an end and might possibly have to lean towards another supplement for Leo. 

Every mom makes their own choices, choices that they make for their babies. They do what they think is right. It has become frowned upon when Mothers choose formula over breastfeeding. It is frowned upon when mothers breastfeed in public. We should all support one another in whatever choice we decide.

A quote from the article;

"I've been to the jagged edge of each feeding choice. I have nourished both of my children in the best way that I could, pleading each week with the scale in the doctor's office, praying for just a few more ounces. My superpower isn't my milk, it's my steadfast love for both of my boys. It's my determination to heal them, to grow them, to go to the ends of the earth for them. That is my superpower. That is my strength."

Now Huffpost is coming together to start a discussion for Mothers whether you breast feed or formula feed.

So as this month begins, and sites like HuffPost Parents fill with discussions of breastfeeding, three bloggers have joined together under the banner “I Support You.” The three cover the whole of the nurse-or-not spectrum: Simon, who has written about her different paths with each of her children here on HuffPost and on her blogMama by the Bay; Suzanne Barston, who blogs at Fearless Formula Feeder and is the author of “Bottled Up: How the Way We Feed Babies Has Come to Define Motherhood, and Why It Shouldn’t”; and Jamie-Lynne Grumet, who you probably saw on the much discussed cover of Time Magazine last year nursing her 4-year-old son, and who blogs at I Am Not The Babysitter.

Visit this link for the info. 

One Double D

I will try to do my best without giving TMI. Wait...Oh well all my dignity flew out the window in that Delivery room.

So about 3 months ago I noticed a difference in my production, yes I mean breastfeeding it can be compared to being milked like a cow. The weird thing is that I was only lacking on my left side? I then remembered with Nugget #1 that my milk went down hill after six months I stuck through it and pumped those suckers until I got to 9+ months. The strange thing with nugget #2 is that after a month, my left side stopped... completely.

Panic set's in...I'm in tears thinking this is horrible...my poor baby won't get all the benefit's from breastfeeding since I have one functioning boob. What the *&^% am I gonna do.

Up until 3 am googling, researching, trying to find ways to stimulate my production, what herbs can I ingest, what massaging techniques will work.

My second panic set's in. People will totally be able to tell I have two different sized boobs. We're not talking a little difference, we're talking One DD and one 12-year old -32A sized boob.

I find my self staring into the mirror thinking, This is disgusting. I am unattractive...all my self esteem went out the window.

I then find myself at the doctors office, saying a prayer hoping the doctor has some sort of medication that will help me.

Domperidone: Domperidone increases the level of a hormone (prolactin) in your body, which is involved in breast milk production. Therefore as the prolactin level is raised the amount of breast milk produced increases.

I was so happy, I practically skipped out of the doctors office. That came to a hault when I went to the drug store and my insurance covers 80% of prescriptions and it still cost 100$.

Back to the googling board I go.... I then came across a product called Mum-Ma Milkstream, that I purchased at a local health food store. I read the dosage on the back and it said 30-60 drops a couple time's a day. I trippled that amount, I wanted results so badly.

A couple hours go by....nothing. Off to bed I go hoping I wake up engorged....Usually Leo Nugget wakes up for a feeding around 3...but that isn't what woke me up. Hallelujah...my....boob is tingling and I need a release. Key word: Boob. 

Once again let down... It's a daily battle I tell you, nursing off one boob. I wouldn't change it for the world because I still provide Leo nugget with a warm meal 8 times a day. Hopefully by me sharing my embarrassing story, anyone else that is going through this can feel like they are not alone...we can unite as One Boob! LOL